Human Nature in Action and Imagination
Witty Conversational Quips
Researched by Dr Abe V Rotor
"Will you marry me when my hair turns to gray?"
"Why not? Haven't I stuck with you through brown, black, red, blond andd purple?"
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"Certainly, but I'd start earlier."
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"Were you excited the first time you asked your husband for money."
"Oh, no. I was calm - and collected."
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"Why do you want to work in a dynamite factory?"
"I want to make myself quit smoking."
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"Darling, if I had to do it all over again, I'd marry you."
"That's what you think."
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"A letter came for you today marked 'private and personal'."
"What did it say?"
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"What tense is, 'I am beautiful?'"
"Past tense."
"Drinking makes you beautiful."
"But I haven't been drinking.:
"I have."
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"I had an awful nightmare last night."
"Yes, I saw you with her."
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"No, you can't wear your hair like Elvis Priestley."
"But dad, you wear yours like Yul Brynner."
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"What do you want?"
"Would you be so kind as to help a poor unfortunate fellow who is hungry and out of work? All I have in the world is this gun!"
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"Mama, is it true that we came from dust and will return to dust?"
"Yes, dear. This is what the Bible teaches us. "Why?"
"Well, I just looked under the bed, and there's somebody there, either coming or going."
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