Human Nature, the Lighter Side: Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

The Lighter Side of Human Nature

"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy." And other jokes about marriage.
(According to Great and Popular Leaders) 

Researched and Complied by Dr Abe V Rotor

1. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”—Benjamin Franklin

2. "After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together." - Al Gore

3. “Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.”—George Bernard Shaw

4. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Alec Baldwin

5. "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."- Barack Obama

6. “Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.”—Mickey Rooney

7. "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates

8. "I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me." - Bill Clinton

9. "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - George W. Bush

10. "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Rudy Giuliani

11. "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." - Michael Jordan

12. “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”—Ogden Nash

13. "I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!" - Donald Trump

14. Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then.”—Katherine Hepburn

15. “Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep.”—Unknown. Marriage humor of great men and women.
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“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”—Anonymous

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status.”—Anonymous ~

Acknowledgement: Internet cartoons