Wit and Humor: Anecdotes of President Abe Lincoln

  Wit and Humor 

Anecdotes of President Abe Lincoln

Compiled and Edited by Dr Abe V Rotor

Abraham Lincoln, 16th US President (1861-1865)

Among the finest anecdotes in the world are those written by, or attributed to, the Father of Anecdotes, Abraham Lincoln. Here are selected anecdotes reflecting the character of this great leader, anecdotes that continue to influence the thinking and temperament of the world.

1. Went around it

Lincoln is reported to have said: “Some men are like the stump the old farmer has in his field – too hard to uproot, too knotty to split, and too wet and soggy to burn.” His neighbors asked him what he did about it. “Well, now, boys,” he answered. “I just plowed around it.” That’s a good thing to do with the obstacles that we encounter. (Thomas H. Warner, Church Management)

2. Presidential Polish

During the Civil War days a foreign minister to the United States was shocked when, on a call to the White House, he found President Lincoln shining his own shoes. He told the President that in his country it was not the custom of gentlemen to polish their own shoes.

With his customary resourcefulness and nimble wit, President Lincoln replied, “Then whose shoes do they polish?” (The Red Barrel)

3. Lincoln’s Enemy

Abraham Lincoln was questioned by one of his advisers as follows: “Mr. President, I cannot understand you. You treat your enemies with such kindness. It would seem to me that you should want to destroy them.”

“My dear fellow,” said the President. “I do destroy my enemy when I make him into a friend.” (Anonymous)

4. Musical President

Throughout his life, music was a solace to Lincoln. “His musical tastes,” says a biographer, “were simple and uncultivated, his choice being old airs, songs and ballads.” On one of his walks through Washington during the war, Lincoln passed a schoolhouse where children were singing. He took off his beaver hat and heard the song through, his face brightening the while. Then he straightened up and walked off with a more elastic step. (Sunday Magazine)

5. Using Words Carefully

If the story of the Creation can be told in 400 words, if the Ten Commandments contain 297 words, if Lincoln’s immortal Gettysburg Address was only 266 words, if an entire concept of freedom was set in the Declaration of Independence in about 1,300 words – it is up to some of us to use fewer words, and thus save the time energy, vitality, and nerves of those who must read or listen (Jerome P Fleishman)

6. Lenient Treatment

Lincoln was often the despair of his generals because of his lenient treatment of cases where soldiers were absent without leave.

“If the good Lord has given a man a cowardly pair of legs,” Lincoln reasoned, “it is hard to keep them from running away with him.”

7. Curiosity

“What made the deepest impression upon you?” inquired a friend one day, of Abraham Lincoln, “when you stood in the presence of the Falls of Niagara, the greatest of natural wonders?”

“The thing that struck me most forcibly when I saw the Falls,” Lincoln responded with characteristic deliberation, “was where in the world did all that water come from?”

8. Simple Abe

Abe Lincoln was a simple man with honest generous impulses. When he was a candidate for the legislature, it was the practice at that date in Illinois for two rival candidates to travel over the district together. The custom led to much good-natured raillery between them.

On one occasion he had driven out from Springfield in company with a political opponent to engage in joint debate. The carriage, it seems, belonged to his opponent. In addressing the gathering of farmers that met them, Lincoln was lavish in praise of the generosity of his friend.

“I am too poor to own a carriage,” he said, “but my friend has generously invited me to ride with him. I want you to vote for me if you will but if not then vote for my opponent, for he is a fine man.”

9. Boys

Roland Diller who was one of Lincoln’s neighbors in Springfield tells the following story:

“I was called to the door one day by the cries of children in the street, and there was Mr. Lincoln, striding by with two of his boys, both of whom were wailing aloud. “Why Mr. Lincoln, what’s the matter with the boys?” I asked. “Just what’s the matter with the whole world,” Lincoln replied.

“I’ve got three walnuts, and each wants two.”

10. Lincoln's Name for "Weeping Water." 

"I was speaking one time to Mr. Lincoln," said Governor Saunders, of Nebraska, "of a little Nebraskan settlement on the Weeping Water, a stream in our State."

"'Weeping Water!' said he.

"Then with a twinkle in his eye, he continued:

"'I suppose the Indians out there call it Minneboohoo, don't they? They ought to, if Laughing Water is Minnehaha in their language.'"

References: Speaker's Encyclopedia of Humor by Jacob Braude Prentice; Anecdotes of the Great, compiled by J Maurus; Anecdotes of Abraham Lincoln from the Internet

Lesson on former Paaralang Bayan sa Himpapawid (People's School-on-Air) with Ms Melly C Tenorio 738 DZRB AM Band, 8 to 9 evening class Monday to Friday